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Posts Tagged ‘love’

Mini mandarins oranges

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Lovely music

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Freshly fallen snow

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It’s such a wonderful day.  I just had my third exam which means I’m over half way there to the holidays.  Brandon is in the spare room wrapping my presents (came home a wee bit early hehe), and he’s going on about how lovely they and how excited he is for me to open them.  I almost cried at this thoughtfulness especially when he brought me mandarin oranges as an “early” present.  It’s been a wonderful day and I don’t think I could ask for a better one.  I’m immensely blessed with a wonderful boyfriend who loves me as much as he does.  Parents who have provided for me and love me, a cheeky brother who is adorable and fun.  I’m also blessed to be able to get an education that very few in the world are able to.  I complain about it, but I love every moment of it (well minus writing essays XD).  I have a roof over my head and I have lovely things around me.  I think that this year has been lovely and just full to the brim of blessings.

What are you thankful for this year?

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“Your love can make these things better.”

I think life is starting to even out. I was just listening to a Jars of Clay song and I’m encouraged to just keep swimming. I may have a billion things to do for school, financial problems, etc. But the love of family, friends, God can help encourage us and give us the oomph we need.

I made tortillas again last night and I added a little bit more of water to it and mixed the oil in with the water and they turned out so much better than the last ones. They tasted the same, but they were softer and easier to handle. I also cooked them for a little less time and I think that that had a lot to do with it. And it only took an hour to make them instead of three like the first time I made them ^_^

I think this month will be better than January was. I am excited for the possibilities and new experiences that wait as of yet. The days just slide together and everything has remained in a positive type of stasis 🙂

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I was browsing my deviantart account today and I came across stuff I’d written back when I was in high school.

And I’m going to post a couple of my favourite short pieces 🙂

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“I just want to wake up!” The scream rose through the darkness that threatened to engulf her. “Someone, anyone come save me and pull me up!” She pleaded as a sob ragged and dry escaped her throat. “Please just come for me,” her form bent over as the rush of tears took over her body. Spent, she stared at the wall in front of her, one of the four that she had put up to protect herself. Tears began to prickle in her eyes again as she bit her mouth shut to prevent any sound from escaping.

Come to me, and I will come near to you.

Where did the voice come from? Last she knew no unwanted people, sounds, or voices penetrated he citadel.

Come beloved, I stand and call.

Drumming her fingers into her ears, she tried to block out the voice. Why wouldn’t it go away? It was wreaking havoc with her heart. She had thought that she had killed it. So she couldn’t feel anymore. She thought she had dealt with that voice years ago.

Beloved! I love you. Come.

No! She would force the voice to go away. Standing up, she ran around the confines she had built for herself searching for a way to escape the voice. It stirred thoughts that were supposed to be long dead. Smells, feelings, sights, tastes. All surrounded her.

How I’ve longed to gather you to me my love.

Slowly her defenses began to crumble

I have never forgotten you.

Unbidden, hope began to grow in her breast.

I have loved you with an everlasting love.

It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be- could it?

My love, I will be your help.

That was impossible. Who would want to help her? It was her fault in the beginning that she was in this situation. Was it true though? These promises of help and love forever?

Place your hope in me my rose of Sharon. I will guard it and help it grow.

Everyone she had hoped in had hurt her. Why should she trust this voice of reassurance? For all she knew it could be another person, there just to use her until she had served her purpose. No earlier, no later. However, there was something in his voice that she couldn’t help begin to trust.

Come search for me, and I will make myself known to you.

She just had to search for him?

What a joke! You believe this shit? You have better more productive things to do than listen to this crap.

Another voice pushed its way into her head. A grown came out before she could stifle it.

What? You don’t want me? I heard what you know. I hear everything who was the one always there for you. Making sure that you were molded into the person you are today. He could never do that.

The voice before had sounded more loving and inviting. Granted he had always been there for her. His suggestions and prodding somehow had put where she was today. Prison.

There is a glory calling you my love. Come to me.

Unbidden, her hands grasped towards the voice. Loving and wonderful.

NOOOOOOO!

A scream so terrible and so penetrating pierced the air.

I won’t let go of you. I worked so hard to get you. I won’t let you escape.

The bonds that she had placed upon herself grew tighter, forcing her arms to constrict to her sides. She lashed out at him, “I want to be rid of you and the “comfort” you give. Leave me.”

Never. You’re mine. You gave up yourself to me. Mind body and soul. It’s impossible my pet.

A hiss of laughter surrounded her. Taunting and hurtful.

She’s mine. I created her, and I choose to take her. I love her with all I posses.

More laughter.

Like I said, impossible. She’s mine forever. Unless…

The voice dripped with evil and foreboding.

Unless I take her place.

She’s destined to die.

I know.

You fool! Why would you do that?

Because I love her.

The laughter sounded again. A string of bells rung discordantly.

Finally! My desire has come. My desire has taken shape at last.

She somehow knew what was going to happen. It was like a blow to her resolve. This man, whomever he was. Was going to die in her place. She didn’t understand. It was her fault. It was all her fault. The yell seemed to come from nowhere. “NO! Please don’t do it. Please!”

Oh but it is. It is far too late. You stupid little girl.

She shrank under his voice. Tears sprang to her eyes. “But I’m not worth it. I’m not worth it for you to die for me. I’m not worth it.” Her voice trailed off into a whisper.

But beloved. You are. You are worth anything to me.

She could sense it more than feel it. Someone was dieing. Slow and painfully. And she knew exactly who it was. “Why? Why? Why did you ever do this to yourself?” Tears rolled silently down her cheeks. There was nothing she could do. If only it hadn’t come to this. She would have come to him and loved him for all she was worth.

The idiot! You’re still mine to keep. Nothing he did or could have done would save you.

The laughter grew around her. Louder and louder. Yet could hope be real again? All because of a thought just borne in her head? She was free now. This man who had died for her. He wouldn’t do that unless he could prove himself victorious. The hope blossomed within her. She could be free from the prison she had made. She only had one choice now. Freedom or slavery. Bounding up, she yelled, “I choose freedom and love!” At the top of her lungs. “I choose beauty,” she almost whispered to herself. A loving intimate thought.

Light began to shine through her walls, crumbling them upon the touch of its rays. Climbing over them, she shed all the burdens and chains that she had desperately held onto all these years. For the first time, she felt free, and the scream of dismay at her escape could do nothing to dampen her spirits. She was free. If only He hadn’t died. If only she had chosen him before all this.

But darling, I’m here.

Spinning, she looked around. A smile burst forth when she sighted a man waiting for her. Picking up her feet, she ran into his arms. All she could feel was love radiating from the arms surrounding her. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to you earlier. I’m so sorry.”

You wouldn’t be truly free if it was the other way around.
I love you.

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